This chemo journey is like being on a Peloton ride with Robin Arzón. You are climbing up that hill (getting your infusion), you think you’re almost there, and you’re in pain. When you feel like you can’t do anymore (when the chemo side effects are at their worst), then Robin tells you 30 more seconds and to increase your resistance 🥴. You dig deep, pull up your hair (or what’s left), channel that gangster rap and handle that -ish. After that last 30 seconds, you hit that flat road, (when symptoms subside) and just coast till the end (or until your next treatment). So here we go again…
Treatment 2 in the bag! I got my 2nd chemo infusion last Thursday 01/20. They take labs prior to each chemo infusion and all of mine came back normal 🙌🏼 so we were able to start treatment right away. Thankfully, chemo day was pretty uneventful. The cryotherapy (to help prevent neuropathy in my hands and feet) also went better this time. We are still tweaking the timeframe of when to take them out of the freezer, however I did not have any adverse reactions this time around.
Now we wait and see how the side effects evolve this cycle. So far, it’s been pretty consistent where my side effects are minimal the first two days after chemo. The nausea has been constant yet manageable this round. The fatigue, however, has intensified. I am constantly tired. It’s debilitating. The GI issues have also decided to come back 🤢 I could have done without them for sure. I am getting my super woman infusion today (fluids), so hoping that helps all my side effects even out until my 3rd chemo treatment.
I was able to get in with the plastic surgeon I wanted for my reconstruction surgery 🙌 Sooo incredibly thankful for that. Dr. Blanchet is very nice and we have tentatively scheduled my mastectomy and reconstruction for June 2nd, baring there are no delays in chemo treatments. I also had an appointment with the radiation doctor. He was also very kind and professional and is willing to work my radiation sessions around some plans we’ve already made for the summer. Again, so thankful for this.
Throughout this blog and process so far, I have really tried to keep things light hearted and positive. The reality of that is I am not able to maintain that attitude on a daily basis. Putting it bluntly…this shit sucks! 😢This week has been more emotional and difficult for me. From dealing with postpartum anxiety before all this, to having the choice of breastfeeding/pumping taken away from me over night and having to stop breastfeeding and pumping overnight to all the physical and emotional side effects of chemotherapy and other medications, i am utterly exhausted. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.
I don’t want to paint a picture of me frolicking in a field of wildflowers and wearing a smile all day long. All of this straight up sucks. I have moments/days when I just want to curl up and cry till I can’t cry anymore. I can’t do that though, since we have a 4month old and 2 year old that are depending on mommy to be there. I don’t have the energy to run out and do things like before. In addition to this, the anxiety of contracting COVID again or the new variant is debilitating. Let’s be honest, Covid is glitter and is everywhere, and no matter how hard you try, it’s just not going away. I can’t exercise like I use to…I get exhausted giving either of my children child a bath. Hell, reading a book to Charleigh wears me out. Never mind reaching out and being there for my friends and the best wife I can for my husband. I just can’t do everything and it’s mentally taking it’s toll on me. We are a very routine driven family and I am trying so hard to keep things as normal as possible, probably more so for my own sanity, but damn…it is hard to do that right now. Needless to say, I will be happy when all this is over. We’ve had incredible support and help from family and friends—I am ready to channel that stubborn Timmerman gene again and handle things on my own.
Prayers for this week: my nausea and fatigue subside, that my anxiety and mental health get better, Gi issues subside
Thank you to everyone who has ordered an Alysa’s Army shirt! Again, the outpouring of support is humbling. Remember to tag or send me pictures of wearing pink or the shirts so I can put pictures in my cancer journey memory box 💗 One day all of this WILL just be a memory. #alysasarmy #pearlsandpinkingofyou #alysasfightagainstHER2 #byebyeboobies
http://Tutustouchdowns.com/shop/ols/categories/alysas-army
Love,
Alysa & Blake
‘Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.’ Joshua 1:9
Alysa's Army 
You got this girl!
I don’t think anyone expects you to be everything to everyone right now, but sometimes when we can’t even make an attempt, just sucks. It’s ok to not be ok right now. If you want to cry, just cry, stomp your feet lay down and throw a temper tantrum, why? Because your kids can relate, your husband will think you’ve lost it and probably laugh at you, and you know what? Nobody, not one soul will be mad or upset that you couldn’t keep all that shit inside…sometimes we can’t hold it all in, and that’s ok. I can’t begin to imagine how you feel. Please don’t count your losses, because without losing something or the negative we would never know how to choose the positive, or even know what the good in life is. So, you fight , hold your head up, take your time out and nappy naps, you are not perfect, but you are perfect at being you. (((HUGS)))
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